where do wedding traditions come from, and how to break them...
Wedding traditions are a funny thing. No one really knows where the wedding origins come from, but everyone seems to follow them religiously. There are the obvious ones, like wearing a white dress and having a cake, but there are also many smaller traditions that people often don't even think about. For example, did you know that the custom of throwing rice at the wedding came from Ancient Rome? They would throw wheat of oat seeds to symbolise the birth of a new life.
I wanted to do a bit of research into where certain wedding traditions come from and then consider how to break them if (like me!) you're not one for conforming! So, let's do it...
I don't give a damn what others say. It's okay to colour outside the lines.
Jimi Hendrix
WEDDING ORIGINS
Why do we have wedding traditions? Who decided that the bride should wear white, or that the couple should exchange rings? If you think about it, most wedding traditions are pretty strange. But like many things in life, we generally don't question them - we just go along with what's considered to be "normal".
However, there's no reason why we have to blindly follow wedding traditions. In fact, challenging them can be a lot of fun. It can also help to create a wedding that is truly unique and personal to the couple.
So if you're feeling bold, why not consider some alternative wedding traditions? You could go for a nontraditional wedding dress, or write your own vows. You could even ditch the cake and opt for something completely different! Whatever you do, just make sure that your wedding day is a reflection of who you are as a couple.
So let's take a look at some wedding origins and how we can challenge them.
Wearing A White Dress
Wedding Origin:
The wedding dress as we know it today is a fairly recent invention. Queen Victoria is credited with popularising the white wedding dress in the 19th century, after she wore one for her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840. Before that, brides would usually wear their best dress, regardless of the colour. The trend was initially something witnessed with wealthy brides, however this is now very much a cemented wedding tradition.
How to Break It:
Some of the most beautiful wedding dresses I've ever seen have been white. However, if you're not a fan of white, there's no reason you must wear it on your wedding day. You could choose a dress in your favourite colour or even a patterned one. Or ditch the dress altogether and wear something you feel more comfortable in.
Walking Down The Aisle
Wedding Origin:
The origins of this tradition are a bit unclear, but it is thought to be related to the practice of wedding couples being escorted to the altar by their families. In medieval times, families would literally "give away" the bride or groom to their future spouse as part of the wedding ceremony.
How to Break It:
If you don't want to be escorted down the aisle, you can simply walk alone or with your wedding party. You could also enter from a different direction, such as through a side door or even coming in from outside.
Throwing Rice or Confetti
Wedding Origin:
The custom of throwing rice at the wedding is thought to date back to Ancient Rome. Rice was seen as a symbol of fertility and was thought to bring good luck to the couple. Of course these days it's more common to see guests throwing confetti rather than Uncle Steve reaching for the basmati!
How to Break It:
If you don't want rice or confetti thrown at you, there are lots of other options. You could ask your guests to blow bubbles, release lanterns or even have them shower you with petals. There are a number of eco-friendly alternatives to confetti, such as using birdseed or lavender. You could also ask your guests to bring along their own eco-friendly confetti, such as using herbs or recycled paper.
Wedding Cakes
Wedding Origin:
The wedding cake is thought to have originated in Ancient Greece. Interestingly in the 16th century, instead of cake there would be a 'bride's pie', which was a savoury pie with a pastry crust and typically filled with oysters and lamb testicles (glad that phase has passed!). In Medieval England cakes started gaining height, with the idea being that the bride and groom would kiss over it. The modern wedding cake we're accustomed to began in the early 19th century when sugar became easier to obtain.
How to Break It:
If you don't want a traditional wedding cake, there are lots of other options available. You could have cupcakes, a cheesecake or even no cake at all! What about a tower of Ferrero Roche? Or a wall of doughnuts? Okay, I think I'm getting hungry!
The First Dance
Wedding Origin:
The first dance is a tradition that originated in the days of Kings and Queens, who would open a ball with a dance. At wedding feasts, guests would form a circle around the newlywed couple and dance around them. This was thought to bring good luck to the couple and ensure a prosperous future.
How to Break It:
If you don't want to have a first dance, there are plenty of other options. You could have a group dance, a sing-along or even just get everyone up and dancing straight away.
Stag Dos and Hen Parties
Wedding Origin:
The origins of the stag do (or bachelor party) are thought to date back to Ancient Greece, but our modern modern understanding began in the 1900s. However, it was in the 1960s that it became common place. The word 'hen' was slang for women as early as 1620, and the word 'stag' has Germanic routes meaning 'male animal in its prime'.
How to Break It:
If you don't want a traditional stag do or hen party, there are plenty of other options available. You could have a joint party, go for a night out or even just have a quiet night in with your closest friends.
Wearing A Veil
Wedding Origin:
The veil is thought to have originated in Ancient Greece, where brides would wear bright red veils to protect themselves from evil spirits. In biblical times, the veil was placed over the face of the bride by the groom as a sign that he was marrying her for her inner beauty. In the 1920s, lace was the veil of choice and we've seen variations on that right up to the modern day.
How to Break It:
If you don't want to wear a veil, there are plenty of other options available. You could wear a hat, a headband or even just go without.
Throwing the Bouquet
Wedding Origin:
The tradition of throwing the bouquet is thought to date back to the Middle Ages. At this time, brides would carry a bunch of herbs and flowers to ward off evil spirits. After the wedding ceremony, they would throw these herbs and flowers over their shoulders to protect them from bad luck. Nowadays, of course, the bouquet is made up of flowers only and is thrown to single female guests as a symbol of good luck.
How to Break It:
If you don't want to throw the bouquet, there are plenty of other options available. You could give it to your Mum, donate it to a charity or even keep it for yourself!
Wedding Speeches
Wedding Origin:
The wedding speech is thought to have originated in the medieval era. At wedding feasts, the groom's father would give a speech to bless the newlyweds. In Tudor times, it was customary for the father of the bride to give a speech. Nowadays, wedding speeches are given by the best man, the maid of honour and the father of the bride.
How to Break It:
If you don't want to have wedding speeches, there are plenty of other options available. You could have a slide show, a video montage or even just have everyone share their best memories of the bride and groom. The best speeches I have witnessed as a wedding photographer is when they are heartfelt and authentic, instead of going for humour or humiliation.
So, there you have it, a brief history of wedding traditions and some ideas on how to break them. Of course, it's up to you whether you want to stick to tradition or do something different. After all, it's your wedding day! Do what feels right for you and your partner. Who knows, maybe your wedding will be the start of a new tradition!
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